Can Single Men Enjoy Swinging? Yes! Here are 12 Top Tips!

Can Single Men enjoy swinging?

Rosie Kay aka ThisKindaGirl
7 min readNov 24, 2020

This is the advice you have been waiting for, so listen up!

Welcome sexy single males to the world of swinger clubs from Thiskindagirl. Before you strip off and dive in, it pays to do some research first! Ready to discover how single men can visit swinger clubs? Great! First, it’s important to remember that a lot of single men are keen to visit swinger clubs, but within the lifestyle, there is quite a low demand for them. However, don’t despair, with my help, I will give you my top tips on how to be a successful single male swinger!

Why Do Single Men Want To Swing?

If you believe swinging is an easy way to get no strings, free sex with readily available women who are up for anything, then I’m afraid you have been watching too much porn! The majority of swingers are couples who are seeking other couples. This doesn’t mean there are no opportunities to enjoy swinging in clubs, it just means you have to be realistic about what it is you want to experience.

Luckily, there are a few niches that single men can fill. So, if you identify as one of the following, you might well be in luck;

Bull- a Bull is a dominant man who has sex with the wife/ girlfriend of a cuckold couple. He might also have sex with a hotwife, or dominant woman who’s partner is submissive, but they don’t fully engage in the cuckold lifestyle. A cuckold relationship is one where the woman is the dominant and the male is her submissive. Very often, the woman will have sex with other men in front of her submissive husband.

BBC- A fetish all in itself. BBC is a desire to have sex with men with Big Black Cocks. Now, I don’t want to start talking about race and swinging and stereotyping, because to be honest, I find the whole thing quite ludicrous and stereotyping isn’t my thing. I don’t believe it matters how ‘big’ you are, or whether your black, white or orange! However, some couples, especially those who enjoy hotwifing, do sometimes enjoy BBC.

Submissive Slaves- In contrast to all this dominance, some single males wish to join in with couples where one partner is dominant, to serve the master or mistress along with the existing submissive partner. Usually, these couples are found within the BDSM community.

Join a Gang Bang- some clubs have nights where greedy girl parties take place. Greedy girls are women who enjoy gangbangs and usually attend with their partners, who either join in on the action or observe. Single guys are allowed to attend this type of gang bang event.

You are Bisexual- there are some couples where it is the male who identifies as Bisexual and are seeking another Bi male to join in. This can either be to have sex with the guy if the existing partner is submissive or be a fellow submissive with him.

The Truth About Attending Swinger Clubs

I’m afraid single guys do have to jump through a lot of hoops to attend some clubs and events before they are given the green light. Not only do single guy tickets cost more, but there also aren’t as many spaces available, so availability is scarce. This doesn’t mean you can’t attend, it just means you have to be serious about attending. Some clubs do expect you to submit an application form to be considered for membership in the first place.

Chances are you will have to submit pictures of yourself and meet with the host beforehand, to prove you are who you say you are. Again, don’t be put off by these stringent measures. It is very normal. There are of course clubs that do single welcome guys more readily, so check out the policies and membership details before you choose a club to visit.

What Are The Rules For Single Males When Swinging?

Although we all have different personal rules when swinging, there are a few basics that everyone should follow. For single guys keen to get involved in the lifestyle, here are a few pointers;

Practice safe sex! It may shock you that I have included this, as it’s kind of a given right? Well, not entirely. There has been more than one occasion that I’ve had to remind guys to use condoms politely.

Never ask someone you are having sex with if you are better than their partner! This is a major no no! It applies to both men and women, whether you are in a relationship or not!

Always ask where it is okay for you to come. I know this that sounds a little, clinical, but in reality, you need to be confident that ejaculating inside someone, (male or female) is okay before you do! Some people are okay with it when using protection, and some still don’t like to take the risk.

How To Approach A Couple If You Are A Single Man.

If you see a couple who you like, and they appear to like you, being bold and making a move might prove successful if you go about it the right way.

This is the advice you have been waiting for, right here!

Firstly, I’m going to presume you have attended a club night where single men are welcomed, and perhaps you fit the spec for one of the types of niches I listed earlier? Before you go over and strike up a conversation, take the focus away from the end result.

Don’t make it your mission to have sex with this couple or woman, simply engage in conversation with them. Chat, flirt and build up a good connection. Don’t even mention what you would like to do, instead ask them about them, their experiences, what they like, how long have they been together and make assessments based on what answers they give. Are they cuckold couple? Are they new to the scene? Are they long term married?

If you dive straight into the conversation with what you want to get out of the evening, chances are you will come across as being far too much!

I have used this approach in the past when flirting with guys and girls. I have approached them, chatted with them but shifted the focus away from a sexual conversation.

Let them know you’re easy to talk to and fun but leave it there. If a couple wants to continue the conversation later, they will. After chatting for a few minutes, make your excuses and leave. Go and chat with other couples and mingle!

Here are my 12 Top Tips for single men wanting to visit swinger clubs:

  • Don’t come on too strong, If you approach a couple who are new to the scene and are perhaps simply wanting to observe or a couple who doesn’t reciprocate your interest, then leave it at that.
  • Don’t be tempted to drink too much. I understand that in swinger clubs there very often is alcohol and its great to have a few drinks and relax, but the last thing you want to do is have far too much to drink. Drunk behaviour is not tolerated in clubs.
  • Try not to get offended when you are rejected. We all face rejection from time to time. It’s more dignified if you accept it, and move on!
  • There are times when I have been creeped out by the behaviour of single guys. A guy who tries to touch me, or grab at me as I’m having sex (yes, these things have happened) is never going to to get a look in.
  • If I am at a party and we want a single guy to get involved, we will approach them. Yes, you can talk to couples, but be prepared for most to be extremely fussy.
  • Don’t lurk, waiting for the husband or boyfriend to go for a cigarette before making a move on the women. Trust me, this doesn’t work, and looks creepy!
  • Only visit clubs that allow single men to attend don’t waste your time applying to couples only clubs! Do your research first!
  • Don’t waste your time chatting to couples who aren’t looking for single guys, if they say ‘no thanks’ then seek out couples who are!
  • Don’t just hit on the women and ignore the guy. Chat with both parties and be respectful of him! Understand that they are attending the party as a couple, and their relationship comes first. You have to follow their rules and if that means soft swap only, then either follow this or find a couple who do want to engage in a full swap.
  • Be confident and charming. It’s attractive when a man has confidence. A man who knows how to charm both men and women, flirt and can make them feel comfortable is very attractive. Just because a man is charming with another man, it doesn’t mean he’s gay or bi either. It simply means he’s charismatic and confident, regardless of his sexuality. Be more than just a muscly body or a big dick. Bring your personality to the party.
  • Think about appearance, well-groomed, and well-dressed men go down a treat. I don’t need to tell you that swinger women are fussy, I’m sure you have already figured that out!
  • Don’t attend a swinger party in the hope that you will meet a fellow female swinger. It’s not a dating club or a regular night club. Going all the way to a swinger party is quite extreme if you just want to meet a single girl.



Rosie Kay aka ThisKindaGirl

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