From Lifestyle Libertine to Respected Relationship Coach, this is my story.
I was recently asked, ‘How did you leap from the lifestyle into career coaching/ mentoring within the industry?’
When I started thiskindagirl, I sat down and told my story.
I put pen to paper and started to detail how I went from absolutely fu&king not to TKG. I wanted to share the realities of going from one extreme to another, but more importantly, I wanted to be relatable. I wanted readers to reflect upon my journey and go. ‘Wait, this woman is like me; she’s lived what I’m living now and has become stronger.
Although I decided to tell my story, share my experiences and write openly about my journey into Ethical Non-Monmogamy, I didn’t realise back then that I would still be confronted with new relationship dynamics that would make me rethink everything I thought I knew.
In the subsequent years of starting TKG, I would date people who would make me look at Ethical non-monogamy differently, and I would find myself rethinking my rules and boundaries.
I’d dabble with glamour modelling, hire a professional dominatrix and have an open relationship where I would be a non-participating party. And I’m pleased I did, as these experiences have proved hugely insightful!
So I’m trying to say that although I sat down to tell my story, I could only tell you the first few chapters. And although these chapters were most definitely action-packed. (Read My first time in a swingers club and my first bisexual experience), it wasn’t until a few years later that I felt I could offer you a grown-up perspective on all things Ethical Non-Monogamy.
This gave me two things; a foundation that I could draw from and a certificate to show that I knew what I was talking about.
Although an awful lot of what I write has been solely from self-discovery, I knew that if I really wanted to help people, I’d have to get professional training that would allow me to work as a relationship coach or counsellor.
But this was 2020, at the height of the pandemic and entering adult education and enrolling at college were off-limits. As was voluntary work within the NHS. So my best bet was to look online, and I enrolled in a 6-month course to re-train as a relationship coach where modules were submitted online to a tutor, with a final assessment at the end. This gave me a foundation I could draw from and a certificate to show that I knew what I was talking about.
Rosie Kay Coaching was born when I put the relationship coaching qualification and my experience of the swinger lifestyle together.
Without the blog articles, rankings for SEO, backlinks and Youtube channel, I could not convince people that I was a leader in my niche. And subsequently, without having the qualification to back up my life experience, I knew that it would prove difficult to demonstrate to people that I knew what I was talking about.
TKG is a business; just like any entrepreneur, it’s down to me to make it happen.
I am often asked, what career did I have pre-TKG? And people are often surprised when I reveal that, no, I don’t have a background in mental health work, journalism or PR (these are the roles that I look like I might be best suited to, apparently), and they stare at me wide-eyed when I reveal that I used to work within hospitality and had a successful career at a very prestigious restaurant before I called quits on it to become a swinger lifetsyle expert.
Yes, people used to call me chef.
Making the leap to become a coach/ mentor within the industry hasn’t been without its surprises, and now I am in a very different position from where I was when I sat down to tell my story. As well as having moved house 3 times during the last few years, I am also the most settled I have been in my life for many years. (if you have read any of my past experiences blogs, you will know what I mean) But with this new found contentment also comes the realisation that I don’t get to party as frequently as I would like, and also, I’m never ‘off duty’. TKG is a business; just like any entrepreneur, it’s down to me to make it happen.
Being a leader in my niche, if not the leader in my niche, is great, but it’s a lot of responsibility for one person.
But as a one-woman army, I’m ready for it!