I don’t live in UK; how can I start swinging? One continual question has taught me a very valuable lesson…

Rosie Kay aka ThisKindaGirl
3 min readJan 6, 2023

I don’t live in UK; how can I start swinging?

Over the last year, there has been one question I have received that I didn’t anticipate hearing as often as I have done.

I thought I’d answered this question months ago in a piece of content I had made and posted to my site, thiskindagirl.co.uk (dusts hands, there job done).

what if I’d completely missed the brief?

And it’s not that I didn’t answer in full; I did, many times over, but what I have come to realise is that what I needed to do to answer the question correctly was to put myself in the position of the askers, as opposed to what I had been doing; simply putting the answers out there and presuming that people knew 1) where to find said answers and 2) understood the basics of the swinger lifestyle first.

A mistake on my part and one that I apologise for.

I now realise that to provide people with the guidance they seek, I need to empathise with them, rewind the clocks back 10 years, and remember what it was like when I first started. Instead of simply saying, ‘I answered that in xxxx piece of content; find it there’

The fact that I kept receiving the same question worried me; what if I’d completely missed the brief? What if my content lacks substance? Had I overcomplicated it, confused it and was it causing people to be cautious of what I said?


I overlooked one crucial factor. I live and breathe swinging, and most people do not. And even those who are interested, who want to find out more, have yet to learn where to look or why they are curious in the first place.

I crossed these particular bridges years ago, and due to my inherent inquisitiveness, I boldly stepped forward and said, ‘ I’ll give that a whirl’ and then proceeded to educate myself in every aspect of the lifestyle, both in the UK and when I was living abroad. I became skilled at

Using swinger dating sites in foreign countries, finding clubs, and seeking out swingers when travelling in more conservative countries (I spent two years in India)

due to my inherent inquisitiveness, I boldly stepped forward and said, ‘ I’ll give that a whirl’

Although this exploration has benefited me, and I am considered a swinger lifestyle expert after my ten years of ‘investigation’; one thing I didn’t anticipate was how removed I felt from the people asking me for help. And this, my friends, is a very scary path to be on.

So what is the question?

If you are familiar with my content, you will know that one question I am used to receiving revolves around the same topic.

‘How can I start Swinging if I live in …….’


‘I live in …… can I still swing?’


‘But I don’t know how to find Swingers in……’

Ok. Ok. I hear you, I feel you, and I promise that I have been in your position and asked these same questions.

A lot has happened in the last 10 years, and the good news is I haven’t always been UK based, meaning that I have been in the same position as the askers, but because I am Rosie Kay, I also found the answers too.

And so, this year, for 2023, I shall be rewinding the clocks, eating some humble pie and putting myself in the shoes of those who are curious but cautious and not UK based and answering their questions from a place of compassion and understanding and life experience.

As for the question itself, I shall be making youtube videos, a blog article, workshops and a downloadable guide (covering all bases) to help people.

Until next time,

Your full of humble pie swinger lifestyle guru,

Rosie x



Rosie Kay aka ThisKindaGirl

💕Swinger Lifestyle Expert 💯Open Relationship Coach 🗝️Unlock The Lifestyle With Me 👇🏻Use the link to start your journey https://thiskindagirl.co.uk/links/