Monogamish: Could This Be You?

Monogamish: Could This Be You? Quite possibly!

In today’s world of relationship labels, it can feel like you have to choose a side: all-in monogamy or wide-open non-monogamy. But what if there’s a middle ground? Enter: monogamish.

Monogamish is like a cosy sweater — comfortable and familiar, yet with a touch of unexpected flair. It’s a relationship where you’re primarily committed to one person, but there’s a sprinkle of flexibility when it comes to intimacy outside the partnership.

Think of it as a “mostly monogamous” arrangement. It’s about finding a balance that works for both of you, whether that means occasional casual encounters, exploring fantasies together, or simply acknowledging that attraction to others is a natural part of the human experience.

Are You Secretly Monogamish?

You might be surprised to learn that you’re already living a monogamish lifestyle without even realizing it. Here are a few signs you might be part of the “monogamish club”:

• You and your partner have an understanding: You’ve had those “what if” conversations and agreed on certain boundaries, even if they’re unspoken.
• Occasional exceptions: Maybe a one-night stand happened with another couple, or you’re open to the idea of threesomes with your partner.
• Emotional connection is key: Your primary focus remains on your core relationship, and any outside encounters are secondary.

Monogamish vs. Other Forms of Non-Monogamy

So, how does monogamish differ from other forms of ethical non-monogamy?

• Polyamory: In polyamory, multiple romantic and/or sexual relationships are often the norm, with varying levels of commitment and emotional investment in each.
• Open Relationships: These relationships are more open-ended, with fewer rules and a greater emphasis on individual exploration.

Monogamish, on the other hand, keeps the primary relationship at the centre while allowing for occasional exceptions. It’s about finding a balance that works for both partners without feeling like you’re betraying the core of your relationship.

Embracing the “Ish”

The beauty of monogamish lies in its flexibility. It’s about having an honest conversation with your partner, setting clear boundaries, and finding a way to navigate your desires together. It’s about recognizing that relationships are unique and that there’s no one-size-fits-all approach.

My Monogamish Journey

I’ve personally explored many forms of ethical non-monogamy throughout my life, from open relationships to polyamory. However, I’ve found that monogamish currently feels like the best fit for me and my partner. It allows us to explore our desires while maintaining a strong emotional connection at the heart of our relationship.

We don’t always swing; we don’t always seek out couple swaps. Sometimes, I play alone; sometimes, we play together or attend swinger socials. Do we live the swinger lifestyle 24/7? I wish I could say we do, but with running my Rosie Kay coaching and his job (he’s currently out of the country), we are not as active as we would like!

But we still maintain that we are Ethically non-monogamous, even when we are not nipple-deep in a swingers club. And being ‘monogamish’ allows us to keep the illusion of monogamy to unsuspecting friends and family (on his side, especially, mine know I’m a deviant).

5 Top Tips for Practicing Monogamish:

Communication is Key: Open and honest communication is essential for any successful relationship, but it’s especially important in a monogamish arrangement. Talk openly about your desires, boundaries, and any concerns you may have.

Set Clear Boundaries: Establish clear boundaries with your partner about what is and isn’t acceptable within your relationship. This will help avoid misunderstandings and potentially hurt feelings.

Prioritise Your Primary Relationship: Your primary relationship should always be your top priority. Make time for each other, nurture your connection, and ensure that your outside activities don’t detract from your relationship.

Practice Safe Sex: If you choose to engage in sexual activity outside of your primary relationship, always practice safe sex to protect yourself and your partners from sexually transmitted infections.

Be Honest with Yourself: Be honest with yourself about your motivations and desires. Are you truly happy with your current arrangement, or are you longing for something more?

Communicating Your Monogamish Status

If you’re in a monogamish relationship and choose to disclose this to others in the lifestyle community, it’s important to be clear and concise. You can simply state that you’re in a primarily monogamous relationship with occasional exceptions. Be prepared to answer questions respectfully, but remember that you don’t owe anyone an explanation.

Remember: Monogamish is a personal journey. There’s no right or wrong way to do it. The most important thing is to find an arrangement that works for you and your partner and to always communicate openly and honestly with each other.