The Importance (and irony) Of Pubes

Rosie Kay aka ThisKindaGirl
5 min readMar 13, 2023

Rosie, When swinging, which is best for pubes waxed, natural or trimmed?

This is a question I received recently and before I offer my thoughts on this question, I wanted to talk about the science behind WHY we have pubic hair and what its function is… because, yes, it has a role to play. And after reading this piece of content, you will realise there’s a real irony attached to how we view it.

So, pubic hair. Pubes. Bush. Muff. Call it what you like, we all have it, and we all seem to obsess over what it looks like, what other people think of it, and what methods are best implemented to manage it.

Trigger warning if you are offended by people embracing their bodies as they are, you may find the following offensive…Welcome to Rosie’s crash course in body positivity and acceptance

It’s a question I have been asked so many times, and it’s one of the many things we have been taught to be ashamed of, like stretch marks, cellulite and excess skin; when it comes to pubic hair, we have attached a particular shame in sporting it. The ‘correct’ answer in 2023 is either ‘I don’t like it’ or ‘I remove it all’, with the added expectation of reciprocation of ‘yes, me too’

And whilst I’m not here to tell you what to do (it makes little difference to my life whether you have it or not), what I would like to do is share with you the science behind why we have it in the first place and why our obsession with trimming it, tidying it or banishing it completely all in the name of sexual attraction, is in fact futile.

Talking about pubes is not new to me. As you can imagine, over the last ten years that I have been in the swinger lifetsyle, I have had this conversation many times, been asked for advice on it, written about it and also seen many different things, well, styles.

I believe, and I think you will agree with me here, that the reason we are so anxious about what our private parts look like is that we have been taught that smooth is sexy.

Anything other than smooth, or at least ‘attended to’ is considered a turn-off for others, and if you do have the audacity to do what the fuck you want, you run the risk of being rejected by others who don’t appreciate your fuzz.

Trigger warning…If you are someone who is repulsed by pubic hair but still has an interest in swinging, then you need to strap yourself in. Welcome to Rosie’s crash course in body positivity and acceptance because, in the swinger lifestyle, you will see all types of body shapes and sizes with different approaches when it comes to body hair.

In the middle of an orgy, and you see a lady with pubes enjoying a 69? Get used to it! Want to join a couple for a threesome, and the guy has hair on his ball bag? Yeah, that happens. Walk into a dress-down club and see a couple both naked and in their 60s yeah, that happens too. You get my point right? People of all ages and body types swing and can express themselves as they wish.

Okay, so back to the subject at hand.

The Importance Of Pubes

Pubic hair has its own role to play in the mating ritual. Yes, going out on a date and feeling all hot when you start snogging in the back of the uber is what we call the ‘mating ritual’ these days.

our pubes play an important role when having sex.

During sex, pubic hair (on both men and women) can reduce friction, thus resulting in people being able to ‘mate’ for longer. It is also thought to trap bacteria and stop other harmful microorganisms from entering the body.

Another theory, although not as popular as these two above (although I think once you read it, you will secretly know exactly what I’m talking about), is that some believe pubic hair acts as a kind of ‘trapper of pheromones’ that when released smell enticing to the person/ people we want to have sex with. Think back to what I said about getting all horny? Coupled with this is the belief that pubic hair acts as a ‘visual’ signal to others (when we started walking upright) that we were old enough to procreate.

Although an unpopular theory, I do particularly like the pheromones one.

As you can see, our pubes play an important role when having sex. They reduce friction, keep us safe from harmful bacteria and quite possibly entice our partners by wafting our sexy scent in their direction.

If they are so beneficial, why are we so determined to remove our pubes?

Here’s the irony I was talking about. In a swingers club, we work overtime to attract other people and be seen as desirable in their eyes. We spend time in all our nooks and crannies, cleansing, cleaning and conditioning our bodies to perfection.

We dress sexily, we flirt, we flaunt our hairless limbs and display our sexual signals with the use of make-up, flattering clothing and heels (all have their own role to play), and we remove our pubes thinking that they are unnecessary or could even be considered repulsive by some. When all the time, they would (if you left them on) be doing their very best to 1) attract your chosen mate to you, 2) reduce the risk of bacterial infection whilst enjoying sex and 3) allow you to enjoy that sex for longer.

And whilst we are busy making ourselves desirable by removing our pubes, our pubes are trying their best to seal the deal!

The very thing we want to remove out of fear of not getting laid is there to help us get laid!

Ironic, right?

What do I think about your pubic hair? I’m not here to tell you whether you should trim it, tidy it or throw caution to the wind.

If removing it makes you feel good, okay. If leaving it makes you feel good, that’s also okay. Remember, I’ve seen a lot of naked men and women in my time, all sporting various styles, but I’ve been far more interested in what they bring to the party as a person (the insidey character bit) than whether they are handy with the trimmers.

Before you slather them in hair removal cream or book a wax, let’s show our pubes some appreciation, regardless of whether they are brown, grey or ginger!

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Rosie Kay aka ThisKindaGirl

💕Swinger Lifestyle Expert 💯Open Relationship Coach 🗝️Unlock The Lifestyle With Me 👇🏻Use the link to start your journey https://thiskindagirl.co.uk/links/